A Letter to the Special One

Dear Mr. Future Boyfriend,

Even if I use my capable and weird imagination, I still can’t come up with any sensible logical reason on to why are you dating me? But I am sure about one thing: you must be one hella person because I have been single for so long that I can’t even imagine how did you convince me to get into a relationship.

Honestly, I have seen so many relationships fail around me that I didn’t even realize since when I started fearing getting close to someone. You know it’s like with every failed love story that I encountered it made me believe that is how all relationships are inevitably destined to end up.

But I sincerely hope it isn’t the same for us. So, what is it that made you fall in love with me? Was it my clumsiness, my horrible sense of humour, or the best quality that I have, my awkwardness. Probably you have already noticed that I have a special ability to make any normal situation awkward.

I have always treasured this quality of mine. But trust me once you accept it as an inevitable situation that even I can’t help, probably you gonna see the real me for sure.

I really never understood what love is or how to show affection so when I experience anything remotely romantic I go into a panic mode. And I, being the inexperienced, awkward moron doesn’t really helps it. But then what is love and romance to you is the question. I really wanna know what exactly is it to be in love.

Is it the same textbook definition for some or do you really hear the bell ringing when you meet the right one? I don’t know what it really is but I can tell you if I share the last slice of pizza with you or let you order south Indian believe me I am in love with you.

Those big and extravagant gestures are not my cup of tea, they give me anxiety. How about we focus on the small moments like movie nights, casual gol gappa(an Indian street snack) eating competitions, watching the rain together, and the best one on the list let’s be crazy together. Can silence be comfortable? Or do we have to constantly fill in the gaps or else the silence will consume us and our romance? Or somehow you aren’t afraid of my awkwardness already.

You know I always wished to not be a clingy girlfriend but somehow I feel the definition of clingy is changing in the so-called modern time. Will you consider me clingy if I wanna know how your day was or tell you the latest gossip or just blabber about something really silly for hours? Or will you like me irrespective?

Somehow I kept talking about myself and didn’t really care about what you want. How about I let you talk next because trust me I am a great listener. I promise to be there for you always, you can lean on me when time gets hard. I will help you through it or at least stick by your side till the very end. Somehow wishing your partner to be the knight and shining armor seems selfish and unrealistic to me.

I know I am not that romantic. But just think isn’t it being selfish to burden or just throw your responsibility on your partner to ensure your happiness. Let’s not be each other’s shield rather let’s be each other’s support system. I don’t want you to get hurt in my healing. That is my job, not yours.

Honesty, Trust, and Respect are the three virtues that I hold dear. And I really wish we stay together till the end of time but if we don’t, I just hope you are honest about it and not just you but me too. Feelings change, people change, we grow and sometimes we grow apart. I totally get that. It’s hurtful sure but it’s true.

So let’s promise each other if one of us falls out of love, we will let the other one know. Let’s not cheat or go behind each other’s back. Let’s promise to respect each other and the love we once had. I don’t want to end up going through life wondering what went wrong, wasn’t I enough? I want our relationship to remain like a distant pleasant memory at least.

Lastly, I just want you to know, we don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world…but you do have some say in who hurts you. And I chose you.

Love,

The Weird one

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