what you see are the thousands of miles before the destination. What I see is are the thousands of steps I undertook to get here. We are not the same.
You see the failure, I see a new adventure.
You see a person not knowing of love because she never had anyone besides her, I see a person struggling to love herself. I see the one who walked along with her always without questioning her- her demons.
You see the incapabilities, I see the struggle and tears.
We both are the two sides of the same coin but it is my journey so I will be the one defining it while you only get to judge it from afar. We are not the same.
You are right, there are thousands of miles before I finish my journey but then the journey ends with me, on my death bed.
You see my unsuccessful attempts, I see them as fun stories to be told.
My journey is not what you want it to be rather everything I have ever wanted it to be.
And I only wish when I finish it and the Almighty asks was I satisfied with my life, I am able to look at him/her and say – Maybe but I was surely happy until the very end.
What I was looking for was happiness even at my worst, to learn to love myself and support everyone else. And that is the journey I wish I have.
The recent Tokyo Olympics ended with the magnificent first-ever Gold medal in Athletics, making it the best season for India In terms of medals so far. And while most of us are celebrating this new landmark achievement, the question still remains will it be enough to change our mentality and outlook towards sports as a career or does the field still has a long way to go?
Sports as a career? Hell No.
While we all cheered for the athletes representing our country on an international level but when asked the question if we did support our own children to actually take up sports as a career, what do you think will be the answer?
The same Indian that is proud of the sportspersons now won’t let their own kids pursue any kind of sport as a career and would rather advise opting for something more mainstream that would provide them with a stable income later on or simply put “padai pe dhyaan do pura din khel khud karte rhte ho”.
That’s the kind of hypocrite world we live in.
Discriminating within the sports
Kid: Mom, I want to pursue a career in Javelin Throw.
Mom: What even is Javelin Throw?
The chance of your parents saying yes to a career in sports is higher if you opt for something mainstream. Who knew this term would find a way in sports as well. I really thought it was reserved for careers like doctor, engineer, or lawyer. But I guess I was wrong. Even though we don’t have any national sport, cricket actually seems like to any outsider because we are more updated on when the next cricket match
will be than the names of the team members of the national hockey team that represents us on the international level.
How many brand ambassadors have you seen that really aren’t cricketers.
Did you know China actually invests and promotes participation in events that are less popular because they are easier to score medals in? But then we are more focused on endorsements and popularity than sports as a whole.
The Battle of Sexes within the sports
Even the renowned sport of cricket has its backdrops. How many of us know that two female Indian cricketers actually are placed in the top 10 cricketers of the world as per the BCCI 2021 rankings? Do we know their names? Mithali Raj and Jhulan Goswami. But we definitely know what Virat Kholi is doing at the moment.
Have you ever seen a women’s cricket match live on any channel or the news of them winning or losing on any news channel? Name the members of the Indian women’s cricket team. That’s the reality of sports. We are term Indian females athletes as models and male athletes as the savior of the sport.
That is the UGLY TRUTH of sports.
The Battle of Region
Is there any need to add anything else? Don’t think so.
Did you know that this year we took part in many sports for the first time like fencing, rowing, sailing and in Equestrian for the first time in two decades? But the question is do we have the infrastructure to support such stuff. And before you add that these Olympians will get cash rewards they can just use that. Well, you see they have been using their money anyways and their parents are under debt supporting their expensive dreams and it would be obvious that this money would be going in repaying it off. But then it is not their responsibility to pay for such things.
Would is the government doing if the players are the ones financially supporting everything? Do we only remember them after they won and use these sportspersons as a marketing tactic or do we really have any respect for them at all?.
Ask yourself did you even know that the Indian 4x400m Relay Team broke Asian Record but failed to qualify for the final or India came 4th in Golf or It was the first time the women Indian hockey team qualified for the semi-finals or who even Neeraj Chopra was before he bagged the gold for our country. Did you even see the match?
All we cared for are the medals while ignoring the efforts these athletes put in.
Looking for more write-ups related to sports? Click on the link to check out more such articles.
Nowadays women are more visible in sports than they were in the past. Though the visibility has increased a bit the profession is not free from gender-based stigma, till today women athletes face discrimination. One such Discrimination is the Huge Pay gap.
In 1973, Bobby Riggs aged 55, who had won many laurels for himself in Tennis criticized the female game and thought that it was inferior. He also went on to say that even at the age of 55, he can beat any of the female tennis players, this eventually led to the match between Riggs and one of the top female tennis players of the time Margaret Court aged 30 on the Mother’s day, in California. It had more than 5,000 spectators & was also telecasted on CBS Sports.
In this match often referred to as Mother’s Day Massacre, Riggs emerged victoriously and left Court off balance. This victory of Riggs put him in the limelight and he further went to taunt all the female tennis players which prompted Kings to accept the match with a lucrative financial offer against Riggs. This match was held on 20 September 1973 at Texas, Houston Astrodome and was propagated by the Promoters as the -Battle of Sexes.
On the D day, Billie Jean’s entered the stadium on a gold throne framed by flamingo pink features and carried 4 shirtless men while her opponent Riggs arrived in a rickshaw pulled by models dubbed as “Bobby’s Bosom Buddies” The match saw a record 30,000 audience at the Astrodome, from cheerleaders to Champagne, Bands playing the theme song- I AM WOMEN FOR KING AND A CONQUEST FOR RIGGS.” Some men supporters of Riggs wore T-shirts that featured cartoon pigs that read “I am a male chauvinist”, while the women audience held placards that said, “I LOVE BJK”. More than the publicity, Billie was aware of the impact of this match on the lives of women everywhere. There has been other male vs female tennis matches but what made this match stand apart was that it was based on the sexist premise that the worth of a women athlete depends on her capability to defend the male counterpart. This was all happening in 1973 when feminism wasn’t too mainstream & it can be illustrated by the fact that back then women cannot even apply for credit cards. So, when King was facing Riggs she was also challenging the widespread cultural attitude of women being inferior to men. King knew the importance of this match which can be used to grab the nation’s attention which will help in changing the mindset of the society.
“Billie won 6–4, 6–3, 6–3.” After the Victory Billie said that “Had I lost, women’s tennis would have suffered, Title IX could have been hurt and the women’s movement would have been damaged, I … knew it was very important I win the match if I wanted people to take women’s tennis – and women – seriously.”
Later on, King went on to form the Women’s Tennis Association and the US Open became the 1st tournament that offered equal prize money. Consecutively all the 4 Grand Slam Tournaments have offered equal prize money since 2007, this is what makes tennis an exception among all the major sports however it still requires a lot to be done. A UN Under-Secretary-General and Executive Director, UN Women, once stated that” The total payout for the Women’s World Cup was 15 million dollars, compared with 576 million dollars for the last men’s World Cup—40 times less. The winning women’s team received 2 million dollars in prize money, whereas the winning men’s team took away 35 million dollars. The losing US men’s team was still awarded 8 million dollars—four times as much as the champion US women’s team.”
Women’s sports often receive fewer media coverage and even the coverage they do get is often too sexist. More often it is seen that equal pay is opposed by male players, Reportedly Novak Djokovic said that men deserve higher prize money because their matches are more popular. The problems not only lie with the players but there has been a dearth of female coaches, the seriousness of the issue can be realized when we get to know that only 3 out of the top 50 women’s players have female coaches reported by The Guardian.
However, the fight for Equality in sports seems to be a long battle only if the voices of the players are unified. Most of the players shy away from activism. In today’s era of the Internet and Active Media, the players need to reunite and raise their voices in unison.
Instagram has recently rolled out a controversial new feature that is aimed to make the platform a safer and more private experience for “young people”. New Instagram users who are under 16 years old (or under 18 in certain countries) will now have a private account by default until chosen otherwise. As per the company, this will stop or limit young people from hearing from unknown adults, they don’t want to interact with. That is If you have a private account, strangers will not be able to see or respond to your posts, Reels and Stories. Your content will not show up in the Explore tab, hence it will limit your audience to the friend list. And as for those who already have a public account, Instagram plans to show a notification explaining the benefits of a private account and how can they switch to one.
The changes come as Instagram is under pressure from lawmakers, regulators, parents, and child-safety advocates worried about the impact of social media on kids’ safety, privacy, and mental health. It is no new news that these entities have always criticized Instagram for exposure to explicit content and adding to undue anxiety among the teens who while scrolling feel the need to be accepted and are indulged with the comments and likes that they are unable to to handle the peer pressure. And to top it all there is no regulation on the trolling culture that we live in.
And with this new feature the platform is addressing the problem of these teens coming into “unwanted contact with suspicious/ bad adults”. Instagram says quote-adults who, while not breaking Instagram’s rules, have shown “potentially suspicious behavior” — such as if they’ve been blocked or reported by young people — will have limited ability to interact with and follow teens.
Further breaking it down, they won’t see teenagers’ posts among the recommendations in Instagram’s Explore and Reels sections, and Instagram won’t suggest they follow teens’ accounts. If these adults search for specific teens by username, they won’t be able to follow them, and they’ll be blocked from commenting on teens’ posts.
The Loop Holes-
But does this mean all the famous Tik Tokers are being put out of work? Well, certainly not. We all have used the wrong age before, and it is no news that many of us well over the age of 18 still have used to wrong dates to sign up. That is hardball to tackle. To this Instagram has to say that say they are working on better methods of verifying users’ ages, so they can determine when policies for teens should apply and do a better job of keeping kids under 13 off the apps. Instagram already uses artificial intelligence to scan profiles for signals that suggest whether a user is older or younger than 18. But is it good enough? Certainly not.
Then comes the next problem that these children still have the liberty to accept such anonymous requests. So ultimately the feature fails all over again. And the feature only states that the user’s profile is by default set to private but isn’t it easy to make your profile public. Even if you don’t know, all one needs to do is google it. Doesn’t that bring us back to square one?
This feature came as an aftermath of the letter sent to Facebook stating concerns as it announced the preparation for a separate Instagram platform for kids under 13. And this feature seems like a bandage on a broken glass but then Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has defended the idea, saying that under-13s are already using Instagram, so it would be better to provide them a dedicated version. But all I hear is that the age-identifying metrics of Instagram have been failing and we have zero remedies for it.
This might or might not solve the problem of safety but the element of effect on mental health is still present and adding a new platform doesn’t seems to be the apt answer for it. It will still constantly make the young ones feel the need to focus on personal branding and the need for social acceptance. Will the hate comments, trolling, or the anxiety of getting maximum likes go away because you made a different platform? Does it solve anything at all? The social dilemma is still there, and it needs to be addressed by such platforms.
New feature or a strategic move-
And this move seems like a strategy taken to promote the new platform. Once this feature fails, the idea of a new platform will seem like the next best solution, and parents might give in to it with lesser reluctance than what is being seen now. Doesn’t it seem like the perfect strategy? Put the so-called feature that is bound to fail up, that will help them pretend that they do care and then once the feature fails to deliver launch the new platform so that it looks like a perfect solution.
Such platforms have a moral and ethical responsibility that they have been not just been only ignoring rather using this anxiety of ours to milk in as much as possible. But isn’t it high time they become more morally woke and make changes for better rather than adding on features that seem useless to even a not-so-tech-savvy person? Or shall I say using strategies that only benefit them? Putting the bandage over a broken glass is not the solution and having a new platform is worse. This is creating more without dealing with the last one.
As Shein is returning to the Indian market even though for one day under the Amazon flagship event “Prime Day sale”, let’s talk a little bit more about the brand in itself and as the front runner for fast fashion in general.
Shein was one of the 59 Chinese applications that were banned by the Ministry of IT in 2020. One of the key reasons for its success can be enumerated as a trendy fashion line at an affordable price. This was the main reason the brand was famous among youngsters and new adults. The brand lets them indulge in the desire to keep up with the trendy new fashion without burning a hole in the pockets of its consumers. It gave its audience the best of both worlds- the Balance.
But even though on the surface it looks clean and shiny, there always had some red flags going on for them. One of the main critical points was that it was encouraging overconsumption of clothing that doesn’t last and isn’t easily recyclable. Also, it is allegedly, Shein is one of the fast fashion brands that employ laborers from developing countries in legally non-compliant conditions. These people operate in hazardous working conditions that are constantly exposed to poor quality materials and chemicals that result in affecting health in the long run, this all happens at a cost that is below the minimum living wage. Another alleged culprit after big brands like Zara.
Did you know approximately 800 million garments are produced each year and on average, we only wear garments 7 times before getting rid of them? The fashion industry is the second-largest polluter in the world just after the oil industry. And the environmental damage is increasing as the industry grows. The fashion industry is responsible for about 10% of global carbon emissions and nearly 20% of wastewater. The fashion industry is a major water consumer. A huge quantity of freshwater is used for the dyeing and finishing process for all of our clothes. As a reference, it can take up to 200 tons of fresh water per ton of dyed fabric. And fast fashion dominates this tally.
But then what is the point in knowing all these problems if we have no solution to them. The whole fast fashion industry is thriving on the fact that it is a mass producer of clothing that uses cheap quality products. That is the whole point of the industry, we can’t take that away from it. And also let’s not ignore the satisfaction it provides to middle-class consumers, trendy clothing at low prices. Then what to do next? The desire to opt for such products is understandable but remember to make a conscious choice and not buy products that you don’t need just because they are offered at a low price.
Rather than throwing away old clothes donate them. Keep an eye on your washing. Sounds weird but it is rather helpful. Washing our clothes has a significant environmental impact. The average household does almost 400 loads of laundry every year, consuming about 60,000 liters of water. It also takes a lot of energy to heat the washing water and run the drying cycle.
Now you know the problem and some reasonable solutions. The only question that remains is will we ever switch to being conscious consumers?
The government under the ambit of Sec 89 of the IT act 2000 has proposed the IT (Intermediary Guidelines and Digital Media Ethics Code) Rules 2021 on Feb’ 2021 which will replace the old 2011 IT Rules. It is of the opinion that the proposed changes will help in establishing the Rule of Law and also abiding with the Constitution of India.
The Question which ponders us is what was the need for such changes? So, in the year 2018, the SC observed that GOI must come with guidelines to eliminate the child pornography, rape, and gang rape imaginaries in the site of the content hosting platforms. Following in 2020 an Adhoc committee laid down its report on the alarming issue of pornography on social media and its effect on children and the society in large and further recommended for the identification of the first originator of such contents.
Changes which has been introduced :
The social media platform is divided into two parts: Social media intermediaries and Significant Social media Intermediaries.
Social Media Intermediaries: The new IT Rules, 2021, define a social media intermediary as an entity that primarily or solely enables online interaction between two or more users and allows them to create, upload, share, disseminate, modify or access information using its services. Significant Social media Intermediaries: Social Media Intermediaries with more than 50 lakh registered users are under this category.
Some common rules have been framed for the above 2 categories of platforms, however, an additional guideline has also been brought up for the Significant Social media Intermediary.
It is mandated that Due Diligence has to be followed by the intermediaries and if it is found that the same has been violated then the safe harbors provided to these intermediaries under Sec 79 of the IT Act will not apply to them.Also , we can see that the grievance redressal mechanism is mandatory to be set up by these intermediaries which will include an appointment of the Grievance Officer who have to acknowledge the complaint within 24 hours and resolve the same within 15 days from its receipt. In order to ensure the Online safety of the users, the intermediaries have to act on the complaint filed by any individual or by any other person on their behalf to be acted upon immediately and the same should be removed or access is denied within 24 hours of receipt of such complaints.
Additional Due Diligence for the Significant Social Media Intermediaries:
It should appoint a Chief Compliance Officer, a Nodal Officer, and a Resident Grievance Officer, all should be a resident of India. Further, they also have to publish a monthly compliance report which should mention the details of the complaints received and the respective action taken. Further to this it also has to enable the identification of the originator of the information, this has been a major criticism and Whatsapp has been seen moving to court because we have chats in the WhatsApp encrypted end to end and compliance with this rule is seen by many as denial of the Fundamental Right of Right to privacy. The rule has also asked for the removal of the Unlawful Information i.e it should not publish any information which is prohibited under any law in relation to the interest of the sovereignty and integrity of India.
A set of rules has also been framed for the OTT platforms and the Digital Media, i.e now the OTT platforms have to self classify the content under the different age-based categories like U (Universal), U/A 7+, U/A 13+, U/A 16+ and A(Adult). The categories of U/A 13 or higher platforms are required to implement the parental lock systems and the age verification mechanism for the “A” category content.In order to provide a level playing field between offline and online media, it is required that the Digital media should abide by the Journalistic Conduct of the press Council oF India and the Cable Television Network Regulation Act 1995.
A Three-level Grievance redressal mechanism is to be set up with the different levels of self-regulation and the officer should address the grievance received within 15 days along with this a self-regulatory body needs to be set up which will oversee the adherence by the publisher to the cOde of Ethics and Address the Grievances which are not resolved within 15 days. The Ministry of Information and Broadcasting will formulate the oversight mechanism.
Criticism to the New Laws:
Although the proposed Rules will ensure Compliance to the Domestic laws and will help in fixing accountability along with timely removal of the content. Many have argued that the idea of the identification of the originator of the news is an entrenchment of the Fundamental right of the citizen as it will curb the Right to Privacy because it will break the encryption clause. Also, it has been highlighted that the rule to remove the content which seems to be an attack on the sovereignty and integrity of India has been seen by many as an idea that is against free expression.
Though many of the Social Media giants have agreed to follow the set guidelines few have been seen objecting to the rules and some are seeking clarifications.
1) I prioritize my family over everything else. In addition, I value quality over quantity. When it comes to choosing a good friend, I am picky. But when I befriend someone, I accept that person wholeheartedly. I expect you to respect my loved ones the same way you expect me to respect yours. I hope you don’t act like a king in front of my family and close friends. I hope you don’t mind if my parents treat you as their son rather than their son-in-law.
2) I’ve heard it said many times that arrange marriage these days is a deal between two broken hearts. I’ve never fallen in love in my life. Even after hearing multiple times that there is something important that you are missing in life and that you should at least give it a shot, I just couldn’t do it. I know how strange it can be.
Because flings and casual relationships are so common in our generation these days but the idea of a perfect partner has never struck a chord with me. But I’m fine with your past but I don’t want you to still be stuck on someone after committing to me. You don’t have to act like I’m your first, but I’d like to be your last. I hope your baggage from the past does not come back to haunt us.
3) It’s fine if our interests don’t align or if we have nothing in common to talk about. I am a good listener and would be happy to know about your interests. We’ll have a lot to talk about, won’t we?
4) Will you always respect me? I grew up in a family where my parents treated my sibling and me equally. Can I expect the same level of respect and equality from you? There will be areas where you excel and I don’t and areas where I excel and you do not. So I hope you’re not going to brag about it and make me feel inferior.
5) I’d love to hear your secrets, the struggles you’ve faced to become who you are, the times you’ve had self-doubt, and how you overcame them. I’d like to hear about your first heartbreak and insecurities. I promise I won’t judge you.
6) I will always try to motivate you to achieve your goals in life. I want us to grow as a team. I will always be there with you in all the situation. I hope we become best friends so you can tell me everything you don’t want anyone else to know. I hope you will seek my advice when making important decisions. No, I won’t be sad if you do the opposite of what I suggest, all I want is for you to make me feel important by discussing everything.
7) I am a sensitive person. Though I’ve learned not to show my emotions easily those who know me well can easily understand how I’m feeling. Negative motivation doesn’t work for me. I want you to be patient with me when I cry. Give me time. I won’t ask much from you, but all I ask is that when I’m blue, you don’t make fun of me or criticize me. I’ll be fine in no time.
8) Finally, and most importantly, I don’t want you to give up on us. Please don’t leave me alone even if I tell you to. I don’t want a third person to step in and sort things out for us. We’ll figure things out on our own. I don’t want you to fall asleep in anger. I don’t want us to say anything to each other that we will later regret.
Sometimes I wonder what was it exactly as a kid that I amazed me so much about growing up. I wished for freedom. But even after a couple of years of adulting, I am yet to find the freedom that used to mystify a child’s mind.
These few years have unfolded some of the truths of life that I think as a new adult everyone does experience. So here I am sharing the realizations that struck me when I started out:
1) Making your place in this world-
As a child, this world was still way more accepting than it is for adults. You are constantly fighting for your place. Realizing that I was easily replaceable was a moment of truth for me. The extraordinary being that I used to be in school and college was nowhere to be seen.
This happened when I sat down for my first interview with a company and the interviewee asked me why we should hire you. All of the candidates had more or less the same kind of resume then what is it that made me stand out and this is when I realized I was ordinary. I wasn’t that bad but it taught me one thing- we all have the same qualification, experience in a certain sense but what actually differentiates us for others is how we chose to use that knowledge and experience and the way we present it.
Basically the way we decide to fight for the place we want in this world. We used to live inside a bubble until college and for many of us not even while they are in college. This world is brutal. We have been protected for so long that we never realized or learned to fight for ourselves. And now we are thrown amidst a battleground and are expected to defend ourselves.
I know for a fact that I is difficult to decide where and how to belong and then to fight for it as well. But then it is a fight we all take upon every day.
2) Finance and Budget-
As a kid, I hate to ask permission before buying stuff and always wished to grow up as soon as possible and earn my way to the luxuries that I always wished for. Only if I had known better. The luxuries changed and over time my capability to actually earn myself a fair earning too.
After I landed my first job I thought now I can buy whatever I wanted, live however I wanted but to my foolishness being an earning adult isn’t that fun. Paying rent and other bills takes up most of your initial salary. And if you don’t learn the art of budgeting then welcome back to square one of asking your parents for money. And trust me that is no fun. The whole point of earning was to not ask anymore, right?
You need to know your spending habits and have them under control or else you won’t be able to pay the rent. And I have never known any person who likes to be hungry or sleeping on the street or bench. Investing is a golden rule I wished someone taught me early on. Having one income is stupidity and to the people that hadn’t realized it yet, I think the pandemic taught you enough. Always make a budget.
Rent and other utilities are more or less a fixed amount take it off from your salary beforehand. Let’s say I earn 30k a month and I know 15k needs to be set out for such expenses so what remains the said 15k is my actual salary. Now from this remaining 15k save 5k. what we are left with is 10k. So, now divide whatever you are left with into two that will be 5k each and that is what you should take as the expense for fun. And the remaining 5k is your contingency money. Use it when you really need it or want to splurge once in a while. Otherwise, they get added to your savings.
That is how I started out. As horrible and hard it might sound it was actually really helpful in the hard times.
There will never be a job that will provide you a balanced work-life kinda environment. Sometimes you will have too much to work that even eating will seem like a nuisance. And there will be times when the family will be the most important thing.
We might not be able to strike a balance but honestly, at times something really makes me feel that is term is really overrated. When I apply for a long vacation to just chill and relax I am always anxious if my clients are being handled properly or at times when you are enjoying working it is as if I get bored on my vacation. Probably that is just me. But anyway, the point is I love my work and family both equally. Both of them have a different place in my life and give me immense joy.
So the realization was I just need to prioritize what needs to be prioritized. Sometimes my work takes the front row sometimes it has to go to the backseat and that is fine. Find your own definition of balance.
Some of us hate work and want to prioritize family, you do that. And for some of us, work is an escape from family and that is fine too. You do what makes you happy. But still, I would like to add don’t burn yourself out as well.
We are always in a rat race, it’s just a matter of fact if we know it or not. You see we are easily replaceable and hence we stay in denial but the truth is that we are a part of this competition that we signed up for or not.
And honestly, I think competition is a good thing if you know when to draw the line. Always remember why you even started competing in the first place. What does the reward mean to you?
I always used to get envious at work when someone at the same level as me used to get praised for something I didn’t even know how to do. But you know what I could have resented that person but instead, I asked for help. Help to teach me that something. It is as simple as that.
I get it we are competing against each other but I see no reason why we can’t reach out and ask for help. We want to grow and we should you everyone that could help us. Selfishness doesn’t always have to be termed bad. Competing for the right way needs way more brains than you think people.
5) Dress the part-
I know all these years after seeing the memes that are filled with rich people who don’t dress in Gucci. They prefer comfort over luxury. Just a piece of advice- Be that successful first until then stick to the dress code and be at your presentable best. You never know when knowledge fails; your looks can help up your game.
I certainly am not saying show up in Gucci or LV every day. No one likes a show-off. But at least make sure you dress neatly and look like you are interested. I not suggesting you look like eye candy while giving a presentation but at least make sure that the collar of your shirt is clean so that they are not the talking point of the meeting instead of your presentation.
Let me tell you something from my personal experience, I am a heels fan and used to wear them daily to work because they made me more confident but people around me always questioned me for it. But one day while talking to a newcomer he told me I thought you were a manager or someone high up the ladder because of the way you dressed and talked to me. And that is when I realized that the first impression you make on people is with your clothes so dress the part always no matter what the memes say or the people around you.
Plus to my amazement, this also helps break the ice or helps in making friends. My colleagues used to come to me for suggestions not because I was dressed in branded clothing rather I chose comfort too but with a hint of sophistication and that attracted them. So dress the part until no one can call you out for not doing so.
And a little bit of investment in how you look isn’t that bad. Before you call me out for being superficial, I don’t mind the tag till the time people feel I am interested in working with them and not playing around.
My looks are always gonna be an advantage to me. They are a part of my skillset against popular belief. Let’s just stop being so simple-minded.
Tell us about your realizations as a new adult in the comment section and if you agree with our list.
How many times have you seen this post in some form or the other? How many times have you been told to stop comparing yourself to others, we all have our own pace, we achieve different kinds of stuff at different times Something or other on these lines.
But hasn’t the society itself taught us something different altogether. I include our parents and you and me in the term ‘society’ too. We are the narrative itself in a way. We all have always set a rigid timeline for ourselves- graduate from school at 18, graduate from college by 22, then find a suitable mainstream, high-income job, have a family by 30, work till 60, and then wait to die while reminiscing the past.
And we all follow this timeline unconsciously and the society dictates the rules and deadlines time and again. But if we all have the same deadline then how are we exactly preaching to take life at our own pace or one day at a time.
And let’s be honest, it’s not like we enjoy comparing ourselves with others, it’s just the society pits us against each other, and to a certain level how can we not compare ourselves to others? We are happy to see others succeed but we do get jealous when they move ahead of us. Isn’t it natural? After all, we live in a competitive world. In order to achieve a favorable standing and fulfill our goals, we must take several factors into consideration and competition is always a part of the list.
For instance, they say we all are unique or go at our own pace but if you are a commerce student then above 90% is a must in order to get into a good college. I know someone will point out that some kind of parameter is required but the question then becomes are marks the right one?
Fun fact the backbencher in my class scored way less than me in business studies but is a way better entrepreneur than me. I mugged by the content but he applied them practical and probably create a few of his own secret trade tricks and theories.
Or those girls, who we used to call fashionistas and made fun of dressing up as if they were going to a fashion show. They are successful influencers now and are doing way better marketing than me even though I was the one who had the concepts on the tip of my fingers.
Do you see the irony, just to prove my point I too actually compared people with me or against some stupid so-called standards? This is the whole point, how can we recognize our uniqueness and the right pace if the society and even we ourselves keep judging us based on wrong standards.
And you say there is no time limit? Well, have you ever heard a father telling his son that he has one year, follow his passion but if after that one year if you aren’t successful then ditch your dreams and follow the mainstream bullshit the society has laid out for you.
One simple observation – Anyone who has ever started a business or has common sense might point out it takes at least one year to even think of achieving a breakeven point (no loss, no profit). And to think to be successful in that time frame is just being unrealistic.
And if the observation is true then isn’t the timelines we follow just unrealistic and unfair. I just want us to finally acknowledge the irony we all live in.
And the final question- Are we gonna keep being unrealistic and follow this timeline to tag ourselves successful or failure accordingly or are we gonna reconstruct it according to our capability and do our best but not be rigid and modify when and as required?
Even if I use my capable and weird imagination, I still can’t come up with any sensible logical reason on to why are you dating me? But I am sure about one thing: you must be one hella person because I have been single for so long that I can’t even imagine how did you convince me to get into a relationship.
Honestly, I have seen so many relationships fail around me that I didn’t even realize since when I started fearing getting close to someone. You know it’s like with every failed love story that I encountered it made me believe that is how all relationships are inevitably destined to end up.
But I sincerely hope it isn’t the same for us. So, what is it that made you fall in love with me? Was it my clumsiness, my horrible sense of humour, or the best quality that I have, my awkwardness. Probably you have already noticed that I have a special ability to make any normal situation awkward.
I have always treasured this quality of mine. But trust me once you accept it as an inevitable situation that even I can’t help, probably you gonna see the real me for sure.
I really never understood what love is or how to show affection so when I experience anything remotely romantic I go into a panic mode. And I, being the inexperienced, awkward moron doesn’t really helps it. But then what is love and romance to you is the question. I really wanna know what exactly is it to be in love.
Is it the same textbook definition for some or do you really hear the bell ringing when you meet the right one? I don’t know what it really is but I can tell you if I share the last slice of pizza with you or let you order south Indian believe me I am in love with you.
Those big and extravagant gestures are not my cup of tea, they give me anxiety. How about we focus on the small moments like movie nights, casual gol gappa(an Indian street snack) eating competitions, watching the rain together, and the best one on the list let’s be crazy together. Can silence be comfortable? Or do we have to constantly fill in the gaps or else the silence will consume us and our romance? Or somehow you aren’t afraid of my awkwardness already.
You know I always wished to not be a clingy girlfriend but somehow I feel the definition of clingy is changing in the so-called modern time. Will you consider me clingy if I wanna know how your day was or tell you the latest gossip or just blabber about something really silly for hours? Or will you like me irrespective?
Somehow I kept talking about myself and didn’t really care about what you want. How about I let you talk next because trust me I am a great listener. I promise to be there for you always, you can lean on me when time gets hard. I will help you through it or at least stick by your side till the very end. Somehow wishing your partner to be the knight and shining armor seems selfish and unrealistic to me.
I know I am not that romantic. But just think isn’t it being selfish to burden or just throw your responsibility on your partner to ensure your happiness. Let’s not be each other’s shield rather let’s be each other’s support system. I don’t want you to get hurt in my healing. That is my job, not yours.
Honesty, Trust, and Respect are the three virtues that I hold dear. And I really wish we stay together till the end of time but if we don’t, I just hope you are honest about it and not just you but me too. Feelings change, people change, we grow and sometimes we grow apart. I totally get that. It’s hurtful sure but it’s true.
So let’s promise each other if one of us falls out of love, we will let the other one know. Let’s not cheat or go behind each other’s back. Let’s promise to respect each other and the love we once had. I don’t want to end up going through life wondering what went wrong, wasn’t I enough? I want our relationship to remain like a distant pleasant memory at least.
Lastly, I just want you to know, we don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world…but you do have some say in who hurts you. And I chose you.